shopping for men

Tags

dates, dating, dating app, love, online dating, shopping for men, Tinder

Recently I had a friend over for dinner and as we came to the end of dessert, and the bottle of red we were sharing, she decided she wanted to try Tinder.

Within minutes she was signed up to the notorious dating app and we enjoyed another bottle of wine while reading hilarious blurbs and swiping left and right. To be honest, there was many more lefts than rights, but a few matches were made and as the third bottle was opened a few messages exchanged – and we giggled ourselves silly in the process.

Now my friend has two dates this week and I have to admit it was a wonderfully fun evening. As my friends said, it was a little bit like shopping for men – and who can resist shopping from the comfort of your own home, wine and laughter included?

 

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late birthday treats

Tags

Advent, birthday, celebration, friends, gifts, letters, love, post, surprises

It’s been a week since my birthday but somehow I have been surprised by treats every day since. Some letters in the post and a few stray parcels were just the beginning of my week long celebration.

Last night I spent a evening tucked away behind an inconspicuous black door in the Vintage Cocktail Club, sipping coloured drinks and eating delicious nibbles with four wonderful women I call friends. It was a chat-fllled night with lots of laughter and fun – the perfect way to end a long week.

Today a steady flow of drizzle has been dampening the mood but my neighbour and I spent the afternoon over some delicious cake and coffee, chatting and entertaining her adorable toddler. We even ended up in the park playing in the rain, laughing and enjoying a lovely November afternoon.

There has been something quite wonderful about making my special day last for a while, instead of one big party and a shower of love I’ve had a trickle of gifts and events, every day filled with moments of surprises and that warm hug of joy never quite went away.

But now it seems it’s time to put away my birthday, pack away my cards and let normality return to my every day life. Not for long though, as Sunday is the first of Advent and a month long celebration of my favourite time of year will have arrived at my doorstep.

Looking forward to decorating my tree in a few weeks – I do love all of my shoe decorations

 

 

Galentine’s, Valentine’s and feeling loved

Tags

daffodil, friends, Galentine's day, love, photography, photos, surprises, Valentine, Valentine's Day

Yesterday was Galentine’s day, Valentine’s little sister, celebrating the love between friends. (It was invented by the creators of Parks and Recreations back in 2010 and celebrates friendly love on the13th of February) And as luck would have it, even though it was Friday the 13th, I spent some time with a very good friend.

She even surprised me with a Valentine’s day gift – a pink bag filled with a surprise and a card. I was stunned and touched, especially since I didn’t have anything for her, and felt very much loved.

And when I looked out of my window this morning, there standing proud amongst the crocuses and snowdrops was my very first daffodil, a loving gift from mother nature.

bag of surprises

my first daffodil of the year

Valentine’s week

Tags

Burt Bacharach, family, flowers, Hal David, love, love for everyone, red envelopes, Valentine's Day, What the world needs now

In a few days time our world with be swamped in red, pink and purple. Flowers are being bought by the dozen, red envelopes fill the postman’s bag and boxes of chocolates are flying of the supermarket shelves.

On Valentine’s day the whole world celebrates couplely love, and some do seem to feel a little smug when carrying their bouquets or floating heart-shaped balloons when leaving the office or getting on a bus.
For many this day and week is a reminder of their single status, which some aren’t too happy about. But maybe they should just see this red-rose-day as a a celebration of people who are special to you, if they happen to be your partner -wonderful – but if they are your friend or family, celebrate that too! After all love comes in all shapes and sizes and we don’t celebrate it often enough.

With that in mind I challenge you to send a card to someone other than the man or woman you wake up next to every morning. If you are more generous maybe even   buy a flower, a chocolaty treat or maybe a cup coffee and to show them that you care.

As singers/songwriters Hal David and Burt Bacharach said so well in their song:

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of

music

fabulous friends

Tags

friends, love, quotes

This week has been filled with friendly faces and it has reminded me of how many wonderful people I know and how many I can call my friends.

On monday I sat over sushi and chatted to the wonderful C. It was one of those Japanese conveyor belt places where you sit and the food trundles past, slowly, while you try and figure out what it actually is – tasty delights all wrapped up in sushi parcels. A rare treat but one both C and I indulged in due to the €3 offer they have currently on Mondays. Afterwards we went to one of my favourite cafes in Dublin and while she enjoyed hot chocolate and cake I sipped my cappuccino and was glad for her company. Together we whiled away the afternoon, talking, laughing, being a little bit silly – perfect for a grey monday.

Yesterday I met up with an author friend who is frantically working on her second book, the deadline looming and her word-count behind. For hours we sat and tried to unravel her plot, reconstructing it, making sense of flaws and fixing plot-holes. It was exciting and I hope I was of some help  – after all it will be her editor who decides. An inspiring evening encouraging me not to give up and keep on typing and trying.

And today I am going to drive up North and visit a friend who followed her heart up to the beautiful lakes of Fermanagh. I will stay a night or two and am looking forward for a long overdue catch-up, getting glimpses of her life that is so different from my own. Sharing her excitement in her new job, dog and other adventures she may have embarked on.

These three fabulous friends as as different from each other as purple is from orange but all three have me in common. And it makes me wonder about how friends reflect who we are, a kaleidoscope of colours and shapes making up beautiful patterns that is our life.

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friend, never lose a chance to make them.

Italian historian/statesman Francesco Guicciardini

 

fireman Johnny and millionaire Mark

Tags

advertisement, facebook, love, paso doble, photo, relationships, single, stalking

Like many people all around the globe I too have a facebook page, however I really am not for posting what I’ve had for breakfast or that I have popped out to buy some milk, nor am I on it 24/7. In essence Facebook is just an easy way for me to keep in touch with certain friends and acquaintances in my life, and to play the odd game of solitaire. 

However lately the ads that pop up on the side of my page are quite entertaining and a little stalkery. On a  daily basis fireman Johnny and millionaire Marc appear smiling up at me, declaring they are single and only live 6.8Km away.

I have no idea who these men are, if they are who facebook claims them to be, nor do I know if they are single, or how even facebook knows that I am. But since they keep showing up with that hopeful look on their faces I want to tell facebook, Johnny and Marc thanks for the offer but please stop stalking me.

And if they can refrain from appearing before me maybe I should stop playing solitaire and go out and learn how to dance a paso doble … or at the very least buy myself a cuddle cushion that facebook shows me when Johnny and Marc are taking a break.

this picture made me laugh out loud, a cuddle cushion for all us single gals out there

contemplating companionship

Tags

friends, friendship, love, miscellaneous, quotes, random, relationships, thoughts

On the search for a hot cup of coffee and distraction from my teaching duties I found myself in a busy coffee-shop. As I sat with a mug of cappuccino and the Irish Times in in bubble away from the world, something caught my eye and distracted me.

A stressed looking mum and two little girls had entered the shop. Laden down with bags and obviously needing a break just as much as I did, the mother ushered the two girl into a booth. The six or seven-year-olds were having a great time, giggling, heads close together, one brown one blond, pink sparkly nail-polish flashing as they excitedly moved their hands. And as I watched the display of friendship I couldn’t help but overhear the mum give out : “If you don’t calm down there’ll be no sleepover tonight!”

This shocking statement sent the two girls into a flurry of promises and pleading. However it’d didn’t escape me that they also held hands, grabbing on to one another in an attempt to stop the forced separation.

As I watched the little scene unfold before me I couldn’t help but wonder about friendship, and why it is so important. Why do we hold on to some and others flit in and out of our lives, how do we even pick them?

I have some very good friends, some I have know for years others not so long. But I have also had friends that were really important, close, for a  time but who then have disappeared from my life. No fights, no arguments, just life drifting us apart.

With Facebook poking, liking and reminding us of all the people we know, or knew,  it’s sometimes seems friendship has lost it’s value. We have hundreds of people waiting to answer our questions online, only a few finger clicks away. But the time you actually spend with someone, heads close, thoughts shared, secrets whispered has become more rare in our hectic day-to-day lives.

What makes a friendship work and last  seems to be a bit of a mystery, Greek philosophers and even Freud have written essays and letters on the topic. It seems to be a combination of proximity, time, commonality and differences, a mix of experiences and affection all stirred up into one big friendship cocktail.

Luckily for me this week is filled with three such cocktails, catch-ups over coffee and chat, sparkling moments in an otherwise busy, slightly frantic week.

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same

odd combinations

Tags

fluffernutter, food, frendship, love, miscellaneous, opposites, random, relationships, sticky sweetness, thoughts

Last night I was feeling a little bit peckish, but not for chocolate but definitely for something sweet. When the mandarin didn’t quite hit the spot I stared into my kitchen cupboard for a while, waiting for inspiration of the culinary kind to appear. And suddenly it dawned on my, how about the left over marshmallows from last week and some peanut butter, and it turned out to be just perfect.

Now I am not pregnant nor do I normally even like marshmallows very much, but for some odd reason the idea of the sticky sweetness and the crunchy, saltiness of the peanut-butter was exactly the right kind of sweet that I was looking fr.

And while I sat and chewed, a smile on my face, I started wondering about all those odd things that work, even if they shouldn’t. I suppose it is the whole discussion whether or not opposites attract. Some of my closest friends are so very different from me, but I love them dearly and respect their opinions. And when it comes to love we often feel drawn to that one person who seems to live a completely different life.

However studies show that while we may feel an initial attraction, if there isn’t enough common ground between people their relationships seem doomed to fail. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree on everything but a study from 2005 (University of Iowa) shows that if people have similar personalities they are more likely to have a long lasting relationship. The reason behind this is that when we are with likeminded people we feel validated.

However as we are flawed we seem to think that we want something different and get hurt when it doesn’t work out. So maybe it’s a bit like my peanut-butter and marshmallow concoction, it is great for a change of taste but if you were to have it every night you’d soon get sick of it.

PS: I never knew that peanut-butter and marshmallows together is called fluffernutter, and there seems to be a lot of fans

think pink

Tags

beauty, couples, cupid, fashion, film, friends, love, mental-health, miscellaneous, pink, relationships, style, Valentine's Day

The world seems to have fallen into a paint bucket, a pink and red one at that. An explosion of pastel pinks and fuchsia reds has given birth to lovesick window dressings all in honour of cupids  hay-day and his empty quiver.

But for other singletons like myself Valentine’s Day doesn’t always feel quite as cheery and the sudden need to devour whole selection boxes of chocolate may fill the hole in our bellies but not in our hearts. However the benefits of being single means you don’t need to sit in overcrowded  busses protecting roses or stand in line for a love-themed dinner out.

A survey done by Psychology Today two years ago shows that 40% of people, regardless whether they are single or not, have negative feelings towards Valentine’s Day. This could largely have to do with how advertisers and marketing experts have shaped the way we perceive the day. Knowing that everyone is tugging at our pockets to get their share of this 14 billion dollar industry, which is suppose to celebrate the day of Love, may turn sweet to sour.

And then there are our expectancies which are bound to be disappointed. The petrol station flowers instead of the bouquet of red roses, the box of Cadburys not Belgian truffles,  the silver bracelet instead of that longed for diamond ring. Somehow our hopes get shattered turning us from lovers into haters, even if only secret ones.

The best thing to possibly do is to re-frame the situation. Remember that Valentine’s Day is NOT a test on your relationship, nor does it mean that you are doomed to eat chocolate on your own for the rest of your life. And since it is always better to smile instead of frown, put on those pink shades and give Valentine’s Day a positive spin. Think pink, not grey or blue , but a much more happy hue!

PS: look at the shoes Kay Thompson is wearing at around 2.20min, they are on my “want-list”

cooking for two

Tags

cooking, food, friend, J.R.R.Tolkien, love, magic, spieces, taste buds

A friend is coming over tonight and I have decided to cook. I love concocting lovely meals, and while I measure, boil, bind and spice I can’t help but think about magic.

My pots lined up like bubbling cauldrons, smells bellowing up in hot puffs of air, tempting me to come and try. Spices tickling at my taste-buds, making my mouth water and my tummy begging for more.

And how your home transforms into your own little castle, a fire crackling in the hearth, flowers nodding their fragrant heads in time to the ‘minstrals’ singing from the CD-palyer. An expectant chair waiting for a friendly bottom to take a seat at the “dressed-up” table, wanting to enchant the guest to leave the day behind,  a trail of desserts and cake leading the way.

The secret about this kind of home cooked magic is simply a little bit of time and lots of love. But since time is running out my bottom has to get into gear and my hands have to start cooking for two. So i leave you with the creator of a magnificently magical world of his own, J.R.R Tolkien

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world