thoughts on Tuesday

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Albert Camus, autumn, new beginnings, quotes, rain, summer, summer sun, thoughts, warm summer days

One more week and it will be September and the summer  truly over, autumn at our doors- 21 days if the calendar is to believed. I have no idea where the time went and with with only a few sunny days between May and now I seem to be still waiting on the summer sun.

But since no one can stop time I suppose I will just have to cut my loses and get on with it. After all autumn can be so beautiful – the leaves turning gold, the winds playing with the leaves and the last of the warm summer days  saying their goodbyes.

And, like spring, autumn brings new beginnings: the semester restarts, my Masters begins, my birthday is approaching and another year is on the horizon. So maybe instead of mourning the lack of a summer I should be looking forward to all that is new to come.

However as the rain beats down on my windows it is hard not to long for a bit of warmth. But since weather is as unchangeable as time I think I will just decide to stay in and enjoy the pattering of the drops at it creates a soundtrack for my Tuesday thoughts.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

Albert Camus

autumn has arrived

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Albert Camus, autumn, becoming smarter, cardigans, halloween, leaves, mild temperatures, wooly socks

It’s that time of the year again where the leaves change their outfits and wooly socks and cardigans become your go-to comfy clothes.

And while we do still have very mild temperatures and sunny skies you can feel a  tiny nip in the air as soon as the sun hides away.

In a  few weeks time cute ghouls and skipping witches will be knocking on my door demanding sweets and treats, threatening tricks if I don’t give in. This means I should really get my Halloween going, a few chestnut and pumpkins to adorn my window sills won’t be amiss.

But with my eyes a  little blurry from looking at my computer all day and my lack of sleep the result of too-much-to-do and heavy rains drumming an autumny rhythm on my window every night, a musical interlude to the season to come.

So today I switched from muesli to porridge, pulled on a pair of socks and made some hot herbal tea as my teaching companion.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower

Albert Camus

autumn arriving

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Albert Camus, autumn, college, cosy clothes, leaves, nature, photography, quotes, seasons

As I cuddled down into bed with my book last night a switch was flipped and autumn arrived. Wind tousled with the leaves and the pitter-patter of rain on my wind sounded like tap-dancing birds.  And when my eyes flickered open late this morning the sky was grey, clouds tumbling into each other creating a drama.

With the temperatures dropping I didn’t want to get up but when I did I pulled socks on for the first time in months. With my toes snugly and warm I decided it was time to cover up with a cardigan and greet autumn with a cosy outfit.

So as I lounge around the house today, mug of tea in and and cuddly clothes keeping me warm I can’t help but feel excited about what this new season promises. I look forward to sitting in front of a crackling fire and evenings filled with candle light. I can’t wait to spend those wet Sunday afternoons watching a film or curling up with a book.

But it is also the beginning of  college, which means a lot of time spent teaching , grading, preparing classes and talking to students. So I will have to be more organised in my timekeeping, making sure I don’t forget what I want to do because of all the things I have to do.

However I look forward to blustery walks by the sea and trips to golden woods and hopefully my camera can capture some of the beauty of all that autumn holds.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. – Albert Camus

blue skies

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Albert Camus, autumn, autumn light, blue skyies, crackling fires, Dublin, eyes sparkle, Hot cups of tea, miscellaneous, random, woolen socks

This morning I awoke to blue skies and the sun peeking in under my blinds and when I let it snap up a blast of sunshine bathed my bedroom in the most beautiful autumn light.

Today is one of those snappingly cold clean crisp days I love so much. The sky is a bright vivid blue, lined with a few clouds and the sun is low in the sky tinging everything in a yellowy/orange light, making those autumn leaves glow.

I love this time of year, when it’s time to wrap up warm, bring out the boots and legwarmers, and every evening is filled with crackling fires, hot cups of tea and the anticipation that Christmas isn’t too far. Suddenly your cosy home becomes a haven of warmth, your clothes transformed into cuddly jumpers that feel like permanent hugs and you enjoy comfort food like stews.

I even love that it’s time for early morning porridge, a little bit of brown sugar and a handful of raisins to sweeten the deal. I enjoy the way the cold air pinches my cheeks and makes my eyes sparkle and the fact that my tick woolen socks keep my toes nice and toasty.

So now I am going to wrap up and head out into the streets of Dublin a smile on my face and the knowledge that when I come home I can curl up in front of the hearth with a steaming cup of tea and a book. And I will leave you with the beautiful words by the wonderful Albert Camus:

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower

sunny hopes

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Albert Camus, feelings, hope, Ireland, Leonard Cohen, miscellaneous, quotes, random, thoughts, weather

I believed the weather woman so in hopeful expectation I put on a light summer-dress in anticipation of the sun today, but woe is me she let me down and the skies are grey and the sun is still hiding.

As I feel the chill creep up my arms and legs I am wondering if I should give in and change out of my summer-dress or if I should hold on to hope and just put on a cardigan for now. After all there are still several hours stretching ahead of me in which the sun could come out and bright up my day and warm up my limbs.

This mundane pondering thought whether or not the weather will change made me think about hope. All those hopeful exceptions we have about our days and lives, how we can’t help but look for a glimpse of the sun in the rainiest of days or why in the darkest nights we smile up at the stars. We seem to yearn for the light, want things to turn out well, it’s a bit like Leonard Cohen said in one of his poems:

There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.

Hope really is a funny thing, unlike all other positive emotions, hope isn’t something we have when life is good, but hope is the very thing we hold on to when things are bad. Hope is the little engine that could and makes us believe in something better in spite of what reality lays out in-front of us. When fear or despair pulls us down, hope is our lifesaver that helps us bob on top of the waves and see the horizon, no matter how far away. Hope opens up our eyes, helps us see possibilities amidst the destruction and shines a light onto a hidden path. It makes us creative, inspires us and gives us that little push we need, gives us energy.

And even when we feel there is no hope somewhere within us a tiny glimmer flickers, always ready for us to fan it into a flame. Even anthropologists believe that hope is vital for survival, without it we would never dare to take a risk, we would always fear the unexpected because our logic tells us to, always calculating the worst possible scenarios. Only hope allows us to see the good and with it the future is possible, that is why humans are programmed to follow it. Like Albert Camus said:

Where there is no hope, it is incumbent on us to invent it

So with all that said I will cling to the hope of a sunny afternoon and let the goosebumps be for now, a summer-dress as a symbol of my inner undying belief of a  better future, even if it is only a few warm evening hours.

Film review: detachment

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Adrien Brody, Albert Camus, American History X, arty, Christina Hendricks, Detachment, director tony kaye, drama, Edgar Allan Poe, entertainment, film reviews, Films, James Cann, Lucy Lui, Marcia Gay Harden, reviews, Sami Gayle, Tony Kaye

Director Tony Kaye (American History X) is back in Cinemas with his latest film Detachment and this time around the hell he explores is a public high school somewhere in New York. Filled with disillusioned teachers, unmotivated, dysfunctional students and indifferent parents the school is on the verge of being shut down because of its low test scores causing property values to drop.

Adrien Brody plays the lead in this fractured film, his character Henry Barthes is a substitute teacher, and although Barthes is dedicated to his students he not really willing to commit and make a lasting difference in their lives. In his free time he regularly visits his sick, slightly senile grandfather in a nursing home, cares for a 15 year-old run-away prostitute and writes his thoughts into journals.

While the story pivots around the saintly figure of Brody his supporting cast includes big names like Marcia Gay Harden as the besieged principle, Lucy Lui as the stressed out guidance councillor, James Cann as a pill-popping cynical teacher and beautiful Christina Hendricks as a colleague who tries to initiate some romance with Henry. And although tiny glimpses into the faculty members home lives try to give reasoning and depth to these characters and their actions most scenes seem too unrealistic and bleak. .

Newcomer Sami Gayle as Erica the runaway prostitute however is vibrant and vulnerable and most of the better and tender moments of the film are between her and Brody. And although her transformation from mistreated prostitute to homemaking surrogate daughter is a little too fast, she is the only positive light in this dark film.

Detachment tries to mask its somewhat over the top storyline by using arty tricks like crude chalk drawings, quotes by Albert Camus and Edgar Allan Poe, grim monologues directed at the camera and garish disjointed flashbacks. Instead of enhancing the flow of the story or giving depth to it these interferences often fracture it more and feel too forced.

Ultimately Brody excels in his performance as Henry Barthes, his calm exterior and obvious inner turmoil beautifully brought to screen in subtle actions and quiet moments. But sadly this is not enough to make Detachment a good film.

surreal smarts

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Albert Camus, art, becoming smarter, books, Camus, David Lynch, favorite book, Franz Kafka, hell is other people, James Joyce, Jean Paul Sartre, Kafka, literature, Metamorphoses, microcosm, No Exit, quotes, random, reading, Salvador Dali, Sartre, surreal, surrealism, The Plague, Ulysses

I love to read and I always have a book on my bedside table, handbag or in my hand. Unlike many avid readers I don’t indulge in more than one book at a time and I always finish any story I have started, the one exception is James Joyce’s “Ulysses“. But anyone who has tried or even succeeded at reading this universal masterpiece will, I believe, concede that it is not that easy to get into let alone understand. However it is on my bucket list and one day I will read it from start to finish, like it or not.

I rarely read a book more than once as I have a good memory and  find I get easily bored when I know how the story ends, and since there are more books in the world than I will ever be able to read I think it is a good investment of my time to read as many new books as possible. I average at a book a week but there was a time when every two or three days I would be in the book store, buying fodder for my passion.

I was 18 or 19 when I discovered Albert Camus, Franz Kafka and Jean Paul Sartre and fell in love. I devoured their books and developed a readers-crush on Sartre literally gorged on everything he had written, even got my boyfriend infected. My favorite book of his was and is “No Exit” , a surreal tale about death and the source of the famous and often overused quote “Hell is other people”. But Camus’s “The Plague” was another firm favourite as was Kafka’s “Metamorphoses”. I loved the way these writers and thinkers didn’t stick to the rules of this world and created new ones that applied to the microcosm and universes they imagined, even if they were a little disturbing.

Now, I know that reading is meant to be good for you, helps you practices your imagination, increases your vocabulary and communication skills but I was surprised to recently read that surreal stories could help you become smarter. I stumbled upon an old article from 2009 saying that because our mind wants to understand how things work, tries to find the logic and structure in our environment that reading surreal tales challenges our brains. By forcing the cognitive mechanisms in our brains to search for patterns and try to understand what does not make sense we tap into our creative potential and enhance our learning ability.  But not only reading these surreal tales does this, watching David Lynch films or looking at Salvador Dali’s art can have the same effect.

I am not sure if dipping into the world of surrealism has really made me smarter but I do think that by reading about unexplainable worlds, I look out for the unusual, quirky and a little weird. Finding happiness in those moments that are not the norm and loving those truly wacky experiences.

I believe that Kafka said it best:

Many a book is like a key to unknown chambers within the castle of one’s own self.

 

Kafka makes you smarter