It’s my daddy’s birthday today, well it would have been if he hadn’t died last year in the summer. I miss him and when I looked at my calendar this morning a little surge of sadness quivered through me.
I was always a daddy’s girl, even though for most of my life he wasn’t around. And as a blond little girl with big blue eyes I looked up to him and wanted to be just like the man I saw and loved. I may have inherited his mad curls, dodgy eye and love for words but thankfully the urge to smoke cigarettes and pipes passed me by. Although I have to admit that I love the smell of tobacco and do feel a little bit nostalgic whenever my nose catches a whiff.
Some of my favourite memories of my father circle around his love of telling stories. He was a real Seanchaí (an Irish story teller) who would light up his pipe, pull my sister and myself onto the couch and into a world of heroes, fairies, witches and long gone adventures. His deep voice and winding words would paint pictures of old legends and made up stories featuring him in the lead role.
And he was fun, he would play tricks and silly games with us, his big smile barely visible beneath his curly beard and his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. One of my favourite pictures of him sits on my shelf and shows a happy memory. He is perched on top of the wall outside my childhood home with my sister and I draped around him, both of us trying to get as close to him as possible. With a Frisbee crowning his head and two plastic rings dangling from his ears he’s defining his position as the biggest tuddlebuddle in the world, my sister and I coming in second and third.
My heart broke when he left us or we left him (it was always a little unclear) and although I always missed him with an ache I never doubted that he loved me even if I never understood what happened. I am thankful for all those moments spent with him and memories that flood my being and I feel sad that my brother never really got to know him. So today I just want to feel a little bit sad about all I lost, never had and let the man who defined me so much know I will always be my daddy’s girl.
jensinewall 
Sounds like he may have had a wee bit of the fae in him. 🙂
Lovely memories.
Thanks for sharing,
Laura
thank you ad thans for reading
Fergus and I are in tears.
oh no … hope they are good tears not the bad kind
Beautiful and heartfelt tribute. You have struck a chord…
thanks hope its not too sad
Wonderful visual images of your childhood memories which made me smile…thinking of my own Dad. Not sad…poignant. Well done.
Miss my Dad too. You helped me to “see” him walking up through the yard after picking raspberries. He was going to bake a pie for him Mother..the pain in your heart will get better.
thanks … glad you liked my words, was unsure if to personal and not relateable
Your blog was a beautiful description of a very loving father and of a daughter that in turn loved him as much
I grew up without a father, but your blog gives me a silent longing for that kind of man and ‘daddy’…. Diane
than you so much. Only had him for the first ten years of my life. My parents divorced and i always missed him
Happy birthday to your dad 🙂 I hope he is in a better place now and i hope that you are celebrating his life! x
maybe not celebrating but remembering him. thanks so much
eine schöne erinnerung, jensine! danke, dass du dran teilhaben lässt… kenne dieses gefühl sehr gut und immer noch, obwohl mein vater nun schon 8 jahre nicht mehr da ist. toller blog! mach weiter so!
Ach mensch Meike, danke bin mir immer nicht sicher ob ueberhaupt jemand interesse an meinen kleinen Geschiten hat.
*Hug* I’m sure he would be so very proud of the stories that YOU now share – thank you for sharing this one 🙂 …Jill
Thanks …and you are so welcome
You have definitely inherited his love of words…I could picture your memories in my mind, and couldn’t help but smile. In that way, I believe he’ll always be with you and you with him 🙂
thanks so much
This is a lovely post, sad but truly wonderful portrait of your father. My father is gone, too. Your words conjure up similar remembrances of his life and how he shaped me into the woman I’ve become. Thank you!
i am so touched that people seem to enjoy my memories of my dad. I wasn’t sure i was the right thing to post but I wanted to write about him
It was great! He would love to know that you are keeping him alive with your words, straight from your heart!
That’s a wonderful story and he sounds like a great man. I am sorry your relationship was cut short. I believe he is too as much as you. There is no greater gift from God on this earth than a Daddy’s girl! I love mine so much its not fair to everyone else it seems. Congrats on being your Daddy’s girl.
and thanks for reading … am sure your daughter feels exactly the same about you