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While dancing the night away on high healed brown leather boots and a cocktail in hand a thought occurred to me late last night as my feet began to ache. Why is it that we are fearful of how others can hurt us but forget about all those little and big things we do to ourselves.

Yes, it can be painful to love, to open up and trust or even just be honest about how you feel when the other rejects you, uses you, maybe laughs at you or just leaves you with a nasty little cold-sore. But is it really that bad compared to the power we wield over ourselves?

Even if I don’t list all the emotional damage we get ourselves into, head-games we play with ourselves, tormenting thoughts we let ourselves think or hurtful ideas we let take hold of our minds, the list of pain we afflict on ourselves is quite endless.

I mean, really, do we have to bite the inside of our mouths every blue moon or nearly sever the tip of our own tongues? And why is it that I have on occasion poked my own eye, and I can’t count the times that I have banged any one of my little and big toes against any given object at floor level.

And what about all the stuff we do to make ourselves beautiful for others? Most of us don’t live in an Amazonian or African tribe hidden away from civilization, yet we still poke holes in ourselves in diverse places, brand our skins with good and bad reflections of our personalities, screw metal objects into our bodies and don’t get me started on shoes. We even enjoy poisoning ourselves with alcohol, drugs, smoke and sometimes food.

Don’t get me wrong, I have pierced ears, a tattoo, enjoy a good drink now and then and my passion for shoes is on the verge to becoming a fetish.  Yet the thing I fear most, is what someone may do with my heart and my trust. Odd considering I have jumped of a 20 meter high cliff, traveled to Russia and Brazil on my own, been know to wander through parks at night (shortcuts), gone scuba diving and have done many, many more not quite safe things.

So maybe instead of fearing how someone else can hurt us we should think about what we can gain with pain. After all you can’t win if you don’t take risks and when we say “we always hurt the ones we love” remember most of us love ourselves most of all.

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